You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
