that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
