and she was petting her beer can
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
