SEEEEXXX PLEASE
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Randomize
