She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
This is my gift to your gina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
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