Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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