I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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