he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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