he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Drunk walkin through police station. America
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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