My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize