oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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