i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
tell me about the fingering
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