She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
