I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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