I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
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She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
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