I love you!
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
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The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Hippo gnu deer
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I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.