and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I stole an accordion from the bar
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion