is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
