Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.