I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist