I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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