Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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