I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
