I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
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