it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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