She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
be right there i have to get my cape
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
