I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
