Is it normal to miss your booty call?
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
