I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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