This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
