it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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