If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
