so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
There's even glitter on my cock...
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