well I can't set my house on fire every night
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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