Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I think my moral compass just broke
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