youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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