i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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