there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize