we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
Randomize
