Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
