I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
