My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Randomize
