I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
