Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
