So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
