When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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