how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
