dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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