Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
