So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
