He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize
