I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
