careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
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