Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I wish there were birth control emojis
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
He? As in you personified your dick?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
