i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
