Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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