The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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