Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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