how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I want to walk on stilts...naked
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
