After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
