He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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