she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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