I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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