You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
