Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
