My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
