Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
