i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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