the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
