Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
