Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Randomize